Protecting Our Children Against Assault, Rape, and Incest
Posted: Saturday, September 17, 2011
by Carol Allen Anfinsen
AnfinsenArt
I was 14 years of age; a child on the brink of young womanhood. The seasons were also in between stages; the leaves beginning to turn, the air ripe with the warmth and scent of harvest. The time: dusk, that mid-range of darkness and light that casts weird shadows before it slowly ebbs into darkness.
I was on my way to youth meeting at my church less than half a mile away. In our small town, people walked almost everywhere. I had no reason to be afraid.
That night, as I was walking to church, his truck stopped beside me. “Going to church?” he asked, and I nodded. “Hop in; I’ll give you a lift.”
The distance was so short and for a moment I hesitated. Then, not wanting to offend him, I jumped in. We cruised down the road, and I held my breath when he missed the corner where he should have turned.
“The church is up there,” I pointed, knowing he knew this already.
“I have to run an errand;” he said, “pick up some things from work.” And he continued barreling down the street.
“I’ll be late!” I pleaded. “I’ll be late for church.”
“This won’t take long,” he added, and kept going.
He continued driving until we were almost out of town. I continued my repetitious wails for miles: “I’ve got to get to church. I’ll be late!”
He pulled into a darkened lumber yard. Rape and assault were words that were not in my vocabulary. Although my stomach felt uneasy as we drove over the gravel yard and pulled to a stop, I had no knowledge or prior experience. I was more confused than afraid.
Again, I repeated, “Please take me back. I’ve got to get to church. I’m late.” He silently jumped out of the truck and headed into the darkness.
He was gone for what seemed like hours to a child. While he was gone I prayed: “Please God, let him take me to church. Please help me get to church.”
When he finally got back, empty-handed, he jumped into the truck and tore out of the lumberyard, spinning his wheels until the dirt and sand ground into clouds behind us. We rode back in silence. When he stopped at the church, I jumped out and thanked him for the ride.
I was one hour late for my meeting. I never told my mother or anyone else what had happened. I don’t think I realized the significance of this experience until I was much older. Now every time I hear of a young girl getting raped or taken advantage of, I remember my innocence at 14. I had no idea that I was in any real danger, or that I should be afraid in any way; after all, this was our neighbor and my second grandma’s grandson. Surely he meant me no harm.
How times have changed! Now we have to teach young girls in kindergarten and grade school all about the evils of the world around them. We have to discuss sex in more detailed ways and help them to recognize when they should be concerned or afraid. It’s become a part of school curriculum.
Along with academic education, parents should teach their child that evil is real, and that Satan is not a figment of imagination. He’s not the red devil seen in advertisements and at Halloween. He is a personage of spirit with immense power. As Paul put it so eloquently in Ephesians 6:10-18 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”
I’m not saying it’s unimportant to teach our children how to defend themselves. Classes in Kung Fu are not only good for self protection, but for self esteem. If someone wishes to harm or assault another person, the first people they pick on are those who appear shy, insecure, or who lack self confidence.
A police self-defense class for women discouraged carrying a weapon for one reason: the criminal or rapist may end up using your weapon against you. Even pepper spray may be used against you if your assaulter is stronger or larger than you are.
The instructor also taught that even people you know and trust may be tempted to do something wrong, especially if you’re young, vulnerable, or unskilled at protecting yourself.
In addition to physical training and advice from parents and educators, children should learn to listen to their gut feelings. If they feel that something is wrong, it usually is.
If I had listened to my first “gut reaction” as a child, I would have told my neighbor: “Thank you, but I’d prefer to walk.” Then that ride through town and back would never have happened, and my neighbor wouldn’t have been tempted to cross a line he might later regret.
Parents should teach their children to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he will direct thy ways.” (Prov 3:5-6)
- If we teach our children to pray daily for protection and to trust in the Lord, they will recognize when something is not right.
- If we teach them to listen for the promptings of the Holy Spirit, they will ask themselves:
- How do I feel?
- If I’m uneasy, I will get away as quickly as possible.
- I will devise an “exit” strategy beforehand so I’ll know what to do or where to go for help.
- Arm yourselves with “truth”: Paul said to “girt” or wrap ourselves in truth as a protection; that means knowing right from wrong and recognizing evil.
- Wear the “breast plate of righteousness” (when we seek and obey righteousness, God will bless us).
- Wear the “shoes of the gospel of peace;” not the shoes that enter into wickedness or mischief.
- Wear the “shield of faith” that we may be able to quench the fiery darts of the wicked. We can throw a bucket of cold water on evil by using our faith against it.
- Wear the “helmet of salvation,” (a sure knowledge of the atonement of Jesus Christ).
- Wear the “sword of the spirit,” which is the Word of God.
- Praying always (consistently).
In Acts 19, Paul and the apostles used this power to heal and to cast out devils. The sorcerers and magicians of Paul’s day wanted to have this same power. One of them commanded an evil spirit to come out of a man and the evil spirit within said:
“Paul I know – Jesus I know – but who are you?”
Even the demons in hell recognize the authority and power of Jesus Christ. At his very name, they quake and fear. It was the power of Christ’s name and the strength of Paul’s faith that caused evil to depart.
If we were able to summon this kind of faith, and use the power of Christ’s name, could we send evil packing? Could our children ward off the powers of evil at the sound of his name? I don’t know. But I do believe that with the armor of the spirit, and with knowledge and skill we may give our children additional protection and power to keep them safe.
When I was 14, my earnest prayer kept me safe, and probably kept my would-be attacker from evil. Perhaps my prayer saved two lives that night, and it taught me a valuable lesson: “If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.” That’s the perfect time to make an exit or to get help.
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